Don't Settle for Cheese!

A PARENT’S TO DO LIST:

Clean the house.
Go to the grocery.
Take the kids to get a flu shot.
Stop for chocolate!
Help your kids with homework.
Fold the laundry….

Do you ever feel like a rat in a maze? Think about it. A hungry rat is placed in a maze where it smells food. Heading toward the odor of cheese, the rat encounters an obstacle in its path and it has to change course. Other obstacles appear and with each the rat changes direction. Finally the cheese appears and it is gulped down! The rat is momentarily satisfied, but tomorrow comes and the maze, the obstacles and the quest for cheese return.

Does the rat ever wonder about the purpose of its life? Does it actually have goals? Does the rat ever consider looking over the maze walls to gain a new point of view and a goal that is larger than the cheese?

Perhaps you need a new point of view! What if your TO DO list looked like this:

Examine my path and define my convictions.
Develop SMART goals and resolutions.
Check for cheesiness in my goals by asking myself focused questions.

The maze of life won’t be monotonous if you have well defined, worthy goals. And you’ll be more likely to succeed if your goals line up with your convictions and values. It never hurts to spend sometime thinking about the values that are most important to you and your family. Remember you don't have to settle for cheese!

Use SMART Goals to guide your efforts. Goals that are SMART are:

Specific - Describe your goal in precise terms so there is no confusion as to what needs to be accomplished. Try answering the “W’s”: Who, what, where, when, why. Example: A general goal would be, "Simplify the family schedule.” But a specific goal would say, "Limit each person in the family to one extra curricular activity per season."

Measurable - Make sure you include the measures you will use to judge progress made towards your goal. Example: “Spend 30 minutes each day helping Anna improve her reading fluency."

Attainable - Construct a goal that you can achieve. Don’t set it so high that in the back of your mind you know failure will eventually happen. Example: An unreasonable goal is, “Never let my kids watch TV”, but an attainable goal would be, “Limit television time to an hour a day.”

Relevant - Meaningful goals align with your convictions and dreams. Your goal should relate to attaining something you value. Example: A relevant goal could be to, “Plan a family game night each week to increase the amount of time we have together.”

Time-based - Determine a date, timeframe, or schedule for your goal. Example: A general goal would be to, “Spend more time with my kids.”A SMART, time-based goal could be, “Spend 15 minutes a day with each of my children in one-on-one informal conversation.”

One way to check the cheesiness of your goals would be to ask yourself the following questions, written by Laura Hess:

"What will achieving this goal do for me? What is the benefit? Why bother?"
"Is this goal something I want or am I taking it on for somebody else? Is it something you really want or is it something you think you should do? Typically, a "should" goal creates resistance because it's not your own."
"Is this the right time for me to take on this goal?"
"What do I need to move me forward? What resources do you have available to you and where do you need additional support?"
"Who do I want to talk to about this goal? People are great support for you. Choose your support system carefully - you want people who are positive and nurturing. The more you talk about your goal, the more real it becomes."
"What is the one daily action step I'm willing to take that will make the biggest difference to me in achieving my goal?"
"What blocks are in my way? There's usually something in your way. Any block you identify will fall into one of five broad categories: Lack of money. Lack of time. Negativity (yours and other people's). Uncertainty. Lack of information. All blocks can be removed.”